You follow your dreams and I'll follow mine.

I tend to do this a lot. I compare myself to other people. It can be people I admire or people I can't stand. But love or hate, I always look at them and wish that I could be more like them. Mostly this is how I feel when it comes to making money. I have to admit sometimes I look at these people and wonder how in the world do THEY stay in business?

For the last few years, I have ran a few different businesses as side jobs. They never really went anywhere. So I reached out and got advice from a variety of sources, telling me the best way to make my business grow.

I know a few friends that run successful companies that are only a few years old. Some of these friends act like total jack asses in public. Enough that it makes you wonder why people buy from them when their social skills are crap. But it’s kind of their gimmick. Kind of like going to that restaurant, Dick’s Last Resort, and the waiters throw paper napkins at you and make customers where silly hats. People dig it.

I have other friends that are Goths, or rebels, or rockabilly, or geeks. It’s their lifestyle and who they are. They run companies that cater to their lifestyle and are true to their vision. So I wonder, there’s got to be a common thread?

Maybe that’s really what it is. They stay true to themselves. It’s not what gimmicks they bring. Or even if they have some sort of theme. They stay true to who they are first. Then bring that to their business. That’s what transcends to their customers and makes doing business with them special. It makes their business unique.

Every morning I wake up and check out Facebook before I get out of bed. I just like to see what my friends are up to and see if there’s any good gossip from the night before.

Today I woke up and did the same thing. As I was cruising the pages of who’s selling what and what promotions they have it hit me. Every company that I have tried to start always involved someone else influencing me and the vision of what I was trying to do. Guiding me one way or another. But as I look back on all of it, none of them helped me stay focused on what I really wanted my goals to be. Just advising on what works for others and how to make myself more like them.

But I’m not them. I’m not going to change how I do things and produce things because it’s how so and so does it and that works for them. Because as I have learned, that works for them but not for me. I’m going to stay true to myself this time.

So that's why I say, you follow your dreams and I'll follow mine

I was made in America

There's just something I have to get off my chest. As I was eating breakfast this morning, my husband came into the room and said we need to talk. That's never good. He told me that he may but cut off from unemployment on December 11. Merry Christmas.

My husband was laid off in March. He's college educated with a degree in architecture and has worked the last 10 years in civil engineering. Before that he was a general contractor. Before that a carpenter. Before that a motorcycle salesman and mechanic. In other words my husband can design you a house and get the permits for it. Then build it from the foundation up. Oh, and if you need your car fixed, yeah he can do that too. But he's been turned down from every job he has gone after. Including a shoe salesman at REI.

I told him that we'll figure it out. We always do. Then I turned on the TV. There was a report that the US government has agreed to do a $100 million dollar study to research trees in Indonesia. Really? Seriously? We're starving over here and you want to give all that money to another country to research trees??? How many of the research jobs are going to Americans?

I can't tell you how many of my friends are also having a hard time finding a job. I mean a job that you can support your family on. They don't seem to be out there. No one wants to hire full time. Or pay fair wages. So many jobs have been shipped overseas. Cheaper workers equal cheaper prices and lesser quality. Why aren't we producing anything here anymore?

I was made in America. I was well made :)

This time I'm putting myself out there, because I never express my political views. I always keep them to myself. I was also told that you never discuss politics in public. So I never did. Maybe I'm not alone and others feel the same way? So now I'm putting it in writing for everyone who reads this blog to see.

America is a great country. Support the American worker. Put Americans back to work.

As a designer, I have to stand behind my products and my beliefs. I promise to provide as many American made products as possible. Yeah I know, in the end it might cost my customers a little bit more. Yeah I know, it will cut a little bit into my profits. But we need to stand together and support each other. It only benefits ourselves!

I try to figure out where to get my materials. It's near impossible to find anything American made. I now have an account with American Apparel. But I'm having a heck of a time finding American made fabric. If you know any good resources, let me know!

We really need to do something as a country. Put your husband, sisters, and best friend back to work. Support American made products!

Yes they're real.

Sometimes I get so tired of this question, "So are they real?" My answer is YES! Hip checks, booty blocks, rock blocks. They're ALL real hits. This ain't your momma's fake sport she used to watch on TV in the 70's.

Okay, so like I said before there's this monster that ate my free time. It's called roller derby. The fastest growing women's sport and I'm lucky enough to be a referee with a league that does both flat and banked tracks. If you ever end up in San Diego, check us out San Diego Derby Dolls. The derby community is a huge family. We come from every walk of life, literally. They are some of the coolest people I have ever had the honor of knowing.

As a blog about designing and putting myself out there, why am I bringing this up?

Here it is, derby has given me a lot. Helped me prove things to myself. It's where I finally found the strength to stand on my own. Where I found strength to believe in myself.

Being part of roller derby for the last few years has really changed me, for the positive. Yeah I still may be quite when I don't know you. But I'm more likely to say hi to you first. I can stand in front of a group of people, and not be dying to stand in the back of the room like a wall flower. I'm more likely to tell you what I really think about something. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself. The sport and the community gives me a lot of strength I really didn't know I had.

I'm getting ready to launch my new website, with new product line. All original. My designs, my patterns. I have tried selling shirts and accessories before. But never 100% on my own. Making my own designs. Not being influenced by others. It's all me, and what I like. It's scary, being open to criticism. But I'm a lot stronger than I was a few years ago. I think I'm ready.

It's okay. I keep telling myself it's okay.

So, for those of you that don't know me in person, let me start by telling you about myself. My name is Sinnamon. I also go by Sinn, Sin, and Shannon. I'm a wife, a mother of 2 two fur babies, a daughter, a best friend, and one of the truest people you will ever know. I always have a smile on my face and I'm very opinionated. But you know, whatever. I'm also a roller derby referee, which takes up most of any free time that I have. But that's another story all together.

People that know me would say that I am one of the sweetest people you will ever know. They are the ones that crack up when I tell them that some people think I'm a complete bitch. Those people are the ones that don't know me. I tend to be very quite when I don't know you. I can also be very bashful. In a lot of ways I'm not used to putting myself out there.

So that's kinda the point of this blog. Learning to put myself out there. Telling myself, it's okay. I keep telling myself it's okay. Criticism is a good thing. Right?

I'm dyslexic thanks to my father. So reading and writing were really hard for me. Math, forget about it. When I was younger school was really hard for me because letters and numbers looked more like crazy shapes and mixed up. Words and numbers would disappear off the page. I kept pushing myself. Just because it's scary and difficult, I kept trying, kept working on it. It took a long time, I still have issues. But I'm WAAAAY better than I was.

The one thing I excelled at when I was a child was drawing. I really loved it. I put my heart into every picture. Since I had so much criticism in school with my learning disability, it was hard for me to share my drawings with people I didn't know well. I didn't want to hear I was stupid again.

But the few friends and family that did see my work, kept pushing me to do more. I studied art in college. Which lead me to computers, and the fancy art programs. I've been doing graphic art now for a few years. I love it. It frees my mind and my heart. But I still feel that same pit in my stomach when I have to submit something to a client.

But I still push myself to put my work out there. If I don't, how else will people know what I can do?

I received an email from a referee friend that I really respect. She basically ripped my a new ass hole telling me to step out of my comfort zone. Try something new. Push myself. I still have the email and read it every so often. It still gets to me.

So what am I doing?

I've stepped out on my own. Started a new small business. In a lot of ways I'm putting my designs, my ideas, my heart out there in my product line. Everything that I sell will come from someplace inside me. My my mind, my thoughts, my creativeness. It's kinda scary because I'm trying something new. I know there's going to be a huge learning curve. But I really want this to work.

It's okay. I keep telling myself it's okay.

So here we go...