It's okay. I keep telling myself it's okay.

So, for those of you that don't know me in person, let me start by telling you about myself. My name is Sinnamon. I also go by Sinn, Sin, and Shannon. I'm a wife, a mother of 2 two fur babies, a daughter, a best friend, and one of the truest people you will ever know. I always have a smile on my face and I'm very opinionated. But you know, whatever. I'm also a roller derby referee, which takes up most of any free time that I have. But that's another story all together.

People that know me would say that I am one of the sweetest people you will ever know. They are the ones that crack up when I tell them that some people think I'm a complete bitch. Those people are the ones that don't know me. I tend to be very quite when I don't know you. I can also be very bashful. In a lot of ways I'm not used to putting myself out there.

So that's kinda the point of this blog. Learning to put myself out there. Telling myself, it's okay. I keep telling myself it's okay. Criticism is a good thing. Right?

I'm dyslexic thanks to my father. So reading and writing were really hard for me. Math, forget about it. When I was younger school was really hard for me because letters and numbers looked more like crazy shapes and mixed up. Words and numbers would disappear off the page. I kept pushing myself. Just because it's scary and difficult, I kept trying, kept working on it. It took a long time, I still have issues. But I'm WAAAAY better than I was.

The one thing I excelled at when I was a child was drawing. I really loved it. I put my heart into every picture. Since I had so much criticism in school with my learning disability, it was hard for me to share my drawings with people I didn't know well. I didn't want to hear I was stupid again.

But the few friends and family that did see my work, kept pushing me to do more. I studied art in college. Which lead me to computers, and the fancy art programs. I've been doing graphic art now for a few years. I love it. It frees my mind and my heart. But I still feel that same pit in my stomach when I have to submit something to a client.

But I still push myself to put my work out there. If I don't, how else will people know what I can do?

I received an email from a referee friend that I really respect. She basically ripped my a new ass hole telling me to step out of my comfort zone. Try something new. Push myself. I still have the email and read it every so often. It still gets to me.

So what am I doing?

I've stepped out on my own. Started a new small business. In a lot of ways I'm putting my designs, my ideas, my heart out there in my product line. Everything that I sell will come from someplace inside me. My my mind, my thoughts, my creativeness. It's kinda scary because I'm trying something new. I know there's going to be a huge learning curve. But I really want this to work.

It's okay. I keep telling myself it's okay.

So here we go...